I’ve been going through mental battles and to be honest some days I feel my spirit is going to lose. It’s like… GOD stand up, show up or I’m going to fall out. I know it’s just me cause everyone else is perfect, but me and my imperfections said just that to my FATHER GOD! #SpeakingUp4Me
So over the weekend I was sitting around cleaning and decided to go through my list of movies and this CD fell out. It was Jamal Bryant’s sermon entitled ‘I Had To Date Him’. I started laughing while loading the disc into my TV. He said people come into your life for a reason, season and to expose a demon. Of course hearing that made me sit alert and pay close attention. He ran it down to the core for me. He even called out every significant year of my life dealing’s with man. I sat in awe, mouth wide open, tears running down, body shaking, heart breaking but I sat attentively.
I thought about my life’s journey up to this point. I prayed “God, I can’t deal with all of this. Every man who played a significant part in my life is now suffering. I feel like Job and that’s not fair. Why should the enemy be able to come into your presence and request havoc on my life? Why should my friends and family turn away as if I smell of smoke having gone through the fire? Why I ???….. and then HE stopped me.
“My dearest one of whom I am well pleased. Please recall the days when you prayed and asked this of me. You said you wanted no control but complete trust. You said you wanted to know I was real. You said you desired to be kept and not conformed to the things of this world. You said I am your source, sustainer, and supplier. Well I did exactly what you desired and now you’re upset. Don’t worry or fret. It seems darkest right before dawn… The BEST IS YET TO COME!”
I’ve said all this to say… be careful what you pray for because God will give it to you just the way you’ve asked.