Reflections of open heart surgery…..

The heart is not in everything. You can’t just go around putting your heart in places it shouldn’t be” He said.

I thought about it for a second before replying. “There’s no way to separate one from the heart without the person losing existence. Without the heart one will die so I do believe the heart is in everything and all places. However, folk don’t always display love but as for me it’s all about love.” He smiled and replied with a plain and simple “Ok Mother Love!” I laughed and shook my head while rolling my eyes.

LLP_Logo85There use to be a time when I could care less  about anyone or thing but then God decided to perform open heart surgery on me. He placed me in a deep sleep and began the operations; however He didn’t use any type of pain meds. I felt everything. He pulled, pinched, removed, added, and clipped. I moaned, complained, cried, hollered, rebelled, and even threaten to just die but that didn’t stop Him for doing His best work. It was all said and done and there I stood wide awake. He smiled brightly while I stood puzzlingly. Blood was everywhere on Him but I was clean. He had this stone in His hand, a boulder looking thing. I couldn’t talk so I just pointed at it. He fed my curiosity.

“I’ve removed your heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh. With this heart you will have feelings of compassion, gratitude, love, hurt, pain, love, and oh did I say love? You will be an emotional wreck at first but then it will all make sense if you allow the process to happen. It wont always feel right but I don’t make mistakes. Now go on and enjoy your new heart!”

Fast forward …I went from being called cold  and callous to being named Mother Love. God don’t make mistakes for now I see I’ve been processed!

It’s all about the heart of the matter!

Much Love,

Tracy B

 

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It’s what I prayed for….

images-2Happy Tuesday All!-)

 

I’ve been going through mental battles and to be honest some days I feel my spirit is going to lose. It’s like… GOD stand up, show up or I’m going to fall out. I know it’s just me cause everyone else is perfect, but me and my imperfections said just that to my FATHER GOD! #SpeakingUp4Me

So over the weekend I was sitting around cleaning and decided to go through my list of movies and this CD fell out. It was Jamal Bryant’s sermon entitled  ‘I Had To Date Him’.  I started laughing while loading the disc into my TV.  He said people come into your life for a reason, season and to expose a demon. Of course hearing that made me sit alert and pay close attention.  He ran it down to the core for me. He even called out every significant year of my life dealing’s with man. I sat in awe, mouth wide open, tears running down, body shaking, heart breaking but I sat attentively.

I thought about my life’s journey up to this point. I prayed “God, I can’t deal with all of this. Every man who played a significant part in my life is now suffering. I feel like Job and that’s not fair. Why should the enemy be able to come into your presence and request havoc on my life? Why should my friends and family turn away as if I smell of smoke having gone through the fire? Why I ???….. and then HE stopped me.

“My dearest one of whom I am well pleased. Please recall the days when you prayed and asked this of me. You said you wanted no control but complete trust. You said you wanted to know I was real. You said you desired to be kept and not conformed to the things of this world. You said I am your source, sustainer, and supplier. Well I did exactly what you desired and now you’re upset. Don’t worry or fret. It seems darkest right before dawn… The BEST IS YET TO COME!”

I’ve said all this to say… be careful what you pray for because God will give it to you just the way you’ve asked.

Much Love,

Tracy B

How will you handle the silence…….

Some days God is silent.

It’s not because there’s no longer love. It’s not because He has abandoned you. It’s not because you’ve done anything wrong but sometimes HE’s silent because you’ve done something right. You’ve listened, you’ve obeyed, you’ve walked in faith, you’ve loved in spite of the hate received and now it’s time to see how you will handle the silence.

images-21Will you fall back into the mindset that God is angry or that He’s forsaken you? Or will you stand in confidence knowing that even in the silence God’s still speaking.

You gotta believe with all your being that God is ALWAYS speaking even when you don’t hear a word.

LOVE SPEAKS & CONQUERS ALL!

Much Love,

Tracy B