“If you call what I’m going through love then that’s the strangest love I’ve ever encountered” is what my good friend stated to me just this morning.
I’d sent her a note yesterday stating God loves her and she didn’t reply. She always has something to say in response to whatever I have to say but this particular time she was silent, so I decided to reach out and see what was going on. I’d sent a text jokingly stating how I used all my energy and even some reserved energy to write that and to not get any feedback was unheard of. I was aggravated with the love statement and I was taught if I have nothing kind to say then don’t say nothing at all was her reply. “Humph!” I said aloud and sat still for a moment then replied:
Me “Well you have all your needs met & even enough to share. That’s how my parents showed love, even when it was not received as love.”
Her “Aint no needs met over here. I’m trying to figure how I’m going to make it with all that is on me.”
Her “Bills, bills, and more bills. I’m trying to support my family on the little money I’m making, my knee is causing me pain, can’t find help anywhere so if you call that love then that’s the strangest love I’ve ever encountered. God is able, but is HE able for me? I’m tired and this life has beat me down.”
Me “Well you shall have what you say rather good or bad. There is power in the tongue. If you speak abundant life it’s yours or if you speak beat down life it’s yours. Think of it this way; your storms are great because you prayed for something greater. Just endure with trust that God is able. Is HE able, do you believe?”
Her “Yes I believe and no I don’t doubt HIM, just don’t think HE’s able where I’m concerned. It’s just everything I say or pray works in the opposite direction. I’m just tired and done with this subject.”
Me “I apologize”
Roller coaster ride is what I call that conversation. I remember the days I would experience this same feeling. I was so angry with God about the choices I made, the direction I took or the things I’ve spoken into existence. I thought if I got angry enough and acted out then God would reel me back in with abundant blessings so I wouldn’t dare leave HIS side again. LOL, of course it didn’t work that way. The truth was I didn’t believe, I did doubt, I didn’t trust, I just reacted with manipulation and temper tantrums to get a reaction out of God like I did with people. God was not impressed nor moved by my outburst of emotional torment; instead HE became silent almost nonexistent like I’d said to anyone who would listen to me vent. So one day I decided to stop being in my feelings and realized the truth; God didn’t do this I did, but why not put God to the test and actually trust HIM to deliver me. HE did just that. HE delivered me from one bad decision after another all because I took HIS word to be my truth and acted as such. I still go through storms but not without trusting God to be by my side pulling me all the way through! Now that’s love……
So what’s love got to do with it? EVERYTHING!!!
Do you love God enough to trust HIM and to believe HE is able?