Battle of my mind…..

Even after sleeping 8 hours Saturday night I still woke up Sunday morning tired and completely drained.  It’s not what you think!!! C’mon people. LOL

Seriously, have you ever had something deep on your mind? I’d been going through that for about 3 days.  I couldn’t seem to shake it. Not matter how hard I tried, and I did try, it just never went away.  Then my thoughts had the nerve to become worse late last night.

It’s like being creative is a curse at times. Once my mind starts on one crazy thing it’s hard to turn it off that thing without creating more horrible things.  So there I was stuck with what my mind was already on and the bogus stuff I created with it. I had a woe is me moment and snapped!

I sat in my car and screamed out “God you gotta stop all of this! I don’t want to lose the battle of my mind.  I know I’m sane. I know life has its ups and downs, but nothing for me to make my reality.  Why don’t you just take these doubtful, fearful, and sickening thoughts far away from me. I know you’re powerful enough to DO ANYTHING but yet you hear me begging, pleading, crying out for you to stop it, and it’s like you don’t care.  I guess this is the thorn in my side that will never go away.  Why must I have these crazy thoughts that filtrate my dreams? I know you hear me. You have to do something or this is gonna take me out of here.” I sat in the car with tear filled eyes waiting on His response but then got angry with the wait, slammed the car door and went in the house.  Once I made it to my bedroom I turned on the tv for light and heard these words….DON’T LOSE THE BATTLE OF YOUR MIND! I froze and tuned in…. 

This late night Pastor was speaking and giving 7 principles of what he titled *The Law Of* He got to number 2 which was the law of the mind.

The law of the mind is critical for your life.  You have to find ways to occupy your mind. Turn on music, read, sing, find something to occupy your mind that will create the difference. Don’t allow yourself to think about things you can’t change and if you can change them just DO IT ALREADY. Don’t allow yourself to think negative. Don’t allow yourself to think God is NOT listening. If you can at all I admonish you to not allow yourself  to think anything outside of what is happening at this moment.

I began laughing because God has His way of getting His point across. I couldn’t understand why my tv was even on that channel, but I knew He heard my cry and answered my prayer when I began to listen. He IS GOD and ABLE to use anybody (even the ones you count out)and will use anybody to speak if you will listen. 

Stop thinking! Start moving around, start praying, start reading, start dancing, do whatever it takes to not think of defeat but praise GOD for the master plan of victory!!

Much Love,

Tracy B



2 thoughts on “Battle of my mind…..

  1. anonymous

    Just like God spoke to you through the television pastor, I think he spoke to me through you and your blog. I’ve been so down the past few days, so caught up in my head, and I’m normally the most optimistic person around! I can’t remember the last time I felt so down and overwhelmed (and for things I know, at the core of my being, WILL be ok in the end). I was feeling exceptionally (and quite perplexedly) low today, and bam! Your blog showed up in my email.

    Mahalo nui loa for posting today (Hawaiian for “the warmest, sincerest thank you”)!

    P.S. These lines are some of the most beautiful I’ve read in a long time: “I guess this is the thorn in my side that will never go away. Why must I have these crazy thoughts that filtrate my dreams?”

    • speakingup4me

      It’s great to know you’re NOT alone in something. I almost didn’t post it because I felt it was just MY issue. God is good. Stop thinking, start praising HIM for it all, the good, bad & ugly. Find something to do always-
      You will notice you don’t even have time to think if you’re always busy. I’ve been busy all day doing something and I must say it’s a great day. Not that I’m not facing my issue BUT just learning to COMPLETELY TRUST GOD and leave it there. If I’m always thinking about the issue when will I allow God to work it on out???
      Well I found my peace in madness (busy work, good work) It’s funny how God does things. Much love 2 ya & glad things are looking up. Now you look up and see the solution to ALL your problems.

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