I’m here—–

I really enjoyed the celebration of mothers on yesterday.  It was such a joy to see my children make a fuss over me, but still make a mess for me to clean. LOL! Gotta love em -) We had so much fun enjoying each others company, eating, talking to finally being miserable in the end from gluttony.  The food was amazing and I didn’t have to cook anything. Happy mommy day too me!!

Ok, let’s get to the matter at hand here.  Friday I was indeed miserable. I was lost and feeling some kind of way I couldn’t even describe if you asked me. I lashed out on men and finally had enough of falsified friends. I felt I was truly at my wit ends, but God stepped in right on time. Don’t HE always have a way of turning things around the NEXT day or even the NEXT hour, and if we are lucky the NEXT second. He did that just for me. I went to church, matter of fact I ran to church on a Friday and got a great word. Just one word made my entire existence at peace and full of joy unspeakable.

Thou I miss my mother and it was my first mothers day without her physically being here I was being prepared years ago. I live hundreds of miles away and couldn’t see her but would always send a special gift just for her in the mail. She would open it and call me with such delight, and we would talk for hours. Then she would brag about all the gifts she’s gotten from everyone else. It was a normal thing for us to do. Some days I wouldn’t even get a chance to talk to her because she was in the hospital so I would drive home to just sit in her presence. However yesterday we did the same thing. Sounds crazy, a bit unstable, whatever you wish to think but you can’t destroy energy. She lives in me and is now omnipresent. She was right here with me and we talked. I didn’t miss her at all. You don’t miss what you can see. She instilled something so deep in me and I wish to share it with all of you.  That is why I blog daily. That is why I love hard and uniquely.  That is why I pray constantly. That is why I fast frequently.  That is why I smile truly. That is why I sing beautifully.

She gave me unconditional love and I am giving it freely to you. You don’t have to accept it, but I will still give it.  I don’t care what you have done in your past, I aint judging you cause I don’t wish to experience it. I don’t care about what you see in your present cause that’s only temporary. I’m just concerned with showing you a BRIGHTER future.

God SENT me here to be a light and bring people out of darkness. And I will do what I was sent to do even if you don’t like it. ME with all my flaws, emotional hangups and all, God still sent me to help ALL that I encounter.

If you need me I’m here.

Much Love,

Tracy B

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6 thoughts on “I’m here—–

  1. AJAMET

    I am glad to see your light shining today and grateful that you had a wonderful Mother’s Day…even if you had to clean(LOL). God is so awesome at how he brings us to conclusions about our lives and I am glad that you found your peace in the midst of your “Bla-zay” moment. Just one word will overcome our whole being and resonate a tranquility unknown in our spirit. Keep battling to Illuminate the world with your positivity…AJAMET…

  2. Derek Jordan

    Thanks for giving me that love Tracy!! I felt your blog entry because I needed that. Much love to you and your family:)

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