Give and Receive

Some days are better than others, but no day is considered a bad day.  Each day the Lord grants me is a present! It only requires me opening up the gift and enjoying the present day; after all it’s full of brand new mercy and grace and Lord knows I could use some of that!

Each day we learn something new and today I learned that I also have to be a great receiver as well as an excellent giver.  Does this make sense? Ok, allow me to explain…

I don’t mind giving to anyone.  I love to see people happy, laughing, being merry and enjoying life. With that being said, I wish to aid in those things to make folk happy so I give.  However, when the favor is returned I have a hard time receiving it.  Not because I think I’m too good for it, but because of my own trust issues.  I truly would believe folk were out to get me, take what I have, destroy my growth, and use me all up.  Needless to say that’s a bad place to be mentally and spiritually.  I felt the only person I could trust was my mother, father, and children. I felt everyone else had an agenda (even God).  My life has not been a life of peaches and creme’, not even milk and honey but it’s my life.  I use to question why God would allow such hardship for His children until He answered and my response was …..Well I will tell you

While sitting in the corner crying with my arms holding my knees I spoke, “God, why do you allow this type of stuff to happen to your children? Are you even real? Am I speaking to thin air? I must be crazy to believe in a God I can not see.  I must be stupid to believe that you would even care about my life when you got so many other important people you should tend to.  Never-mind, I’ve answered my own question as to why you allowed this.  You have too much on your plate to deal with me. You are not even real.  And if you are show me!! I’m tired of listening to folk sing about you and your goodness. I’m tired of hearing folk cry out and pray to you for help and they still suffering. What is your purpose, why are you here, who created you and why aren’t you serving them?”

I was indeed angry and felt I had a right to know.  I didn’t need God to speak in parables to me.  I needed something more,  something solid I could hold on to.

God spoke, “Indeed you are angry and rightfully so.  Nothing I’ve done to you has killed you nor will it kill your future.  Everything I’ve done is for your good.  I know it felt bad, looked bad, smelled bad, but it was all for your good.  I see the end, you only see a portion of it.  However, you can be angry with me.  You can say I’m not real, you can even deny my very existence, but can you? I am that I am and have created ME! I serve me and you.  You are so important to me and I have no favorites.  You are the apple of my eyes, you’re my friend, my child, and my bride. There’s so much to do but limited time to do it.  You have to believe and trust me completely. I will not let you down.   Don’t get caught up in the SEEN evidence for I operate in CREATIVITY!  That starts within.  You asked to see me so look!”

When I saw the image I was …I can’t even describe what came over me and it’s not for me to reveal at this time.  However, it was at that point I realized that everything that happens in our lives, rather good or bad has come from God.  The enemy can’t do anything to us without the permission of his maker. So if you are experiencing hell in your life today LOOK UP and ask God to strengthen your belief in the UNSEEN for what you’re seeing now is only temporary.  I promise you things will be better once you start believing!!!

I can receive all God has for me because I trust HE is working all things out for my good.  There’s no reason to keep my eye on you, when God has HIS eyes on us all…

Much Love,

Tracy B

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