Seek! Knock! Ask!

Ask and you shall receive.  Seek and you shall find.  Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.  For all who seeks find, all who ask receives, and all who knock shall have the door opened for them. This is the word of the Lord that has resonated in my spirit.

I say this passage of scripture over and over in my head to help me with all the days ahead. I don’t just apply it to the spiritual realm but to my everyday life as well.  We all have our struggles and pride the same, but I’ve learned to ask. I had to let go of pride years ago and ask for help and just like God’s word said I received.  I found myself going from one bad relationship to the next, jumping from here to there; not because I’m unstable, I was just never satisfied. I decided to ask again; this time applying to the areas I only wish to have control in, but in faith believing I will receive I asked. I’ve been single now for a good while and this is one of the best moments in life for me. Now it feels unbearable at times, defeated, unworthy, will the right one ever come along, does he even exist, and skipped over by some men because they fit into some other category of man. I’ve been there but I had to change what I was thinking. Realized I have time to focus on who GOD really created me to be and HIS desires for me. “Not my will Father, but yours be done” It’s hard for me to not have control over who I date, what I say, how I say it, give my talent, time, and money too. I like to run the show but after running I realized I was missing out on the most simple things bringing so much pleasure. I digressed but God is just awesome to me!-) Even in heartache you can find joy and peace in HIM.

Ask for whatever you will and I promise you will receive it.  It doesn’t take a physic to tell us our future. It just takes you and I having a BIG imagination and even bigger determination to see it through to the end. I dreamed many dreams and still do but I was just dreaming. One night I dreamed a dream and it was so peaceful I had to get up and write it down so that I would remember it. I believed the dream so much I started doing the things it took to see it come to pass. I was so excited. I didn’t care the cost for I knew it would all work out because I was working it. God saw my faith and stepped in and the dream came to pass. It was not as elaborate as I had dreamed but nonetheless it was just as peaceful. I asked and walked like I got the answer YES and that moved GOD. I began to find favor with the items needed. Family members began to get excited and run with the vision. The event is still being talked about today.  I’m wowed right now.

I’ve been locked out and can remember knocking on the door so hard it shook the windows.  I kicked the door with high-heeled booths on. I fist pumped it until hurting my knuckles, I prayed, “Lawwd let this girl  wake up and open this door.  Who sleeps that hard anyway? What did she drink? God I don’t wanna sleep in this car outside, cold, strangers, animals, windows, nope Lord please let this girl open the door. I just left twenty minutes ago and forgot the key. She can’t sleep that hard!” I called all my friends but it was so late everyone was asleep and not answering phones and ignoring text.  I don’t blame em’ I would have too. So I sat in despair in the car, cold, outside, strangers, animals, windows, yeah all that and tried to rest but nope not gonna happen. So I heard God speak you’ve already knocked just open the door.  I thought surely it can’t be that easy so I sat in the car a little while longer. After a few turns of uncomforted body parts I decided to take heed to what I heard. I went to the door bold and stuck out my hand and knocked again. He said, ” You already knocked, just open the door.”  So I turned the knob and the door opened. I couldn’t believe I sat there for almost an hour banging on an opened door. Do you know of all the time I had wasted when I could have just tried to open the door in the beginning? I’m wowed again now. God is awesome I tell ya -) 

As I stated earlier I’m focusing on who God created me to be and His desires & will for my life. So I will call this period of my life ‘seeking’. I just want to know HIM, you know I mean truly know HIM. To know God is to know yourself and I find out something new about me everyday. It’s pretty fun when the situation is funny but finding out about yourself can sometimes be embarrassing to say the least. However I choose to know all about me so that I can be held accountable and find favor with both man and God. It may sound selfish to you, but hey it’s what God promised me and I am a believer! I don’t owe anyone an explanation about my relationship with God just as I wouldn’t want you to explain why you love who you love. Alrite, alrite, alrite… you gone learn today….. LOL

OK, so I need God with all my heart and in knowing this it’s messing with me socially. I can’t stress enough the discomfort in some of the things being asked of me.  The manner in which I do things that I’ve been doing the same way for years has been compromised. I want this so bad, that I am sitting here telling you all about it. I don’t know you like that to be telling my business but this is how I am seeing GOD operate. Now this is funny. I keep a closed lip on my life and the folk involved but PAUSE, that’s a past statement. It should read, I used to keep a closed lip on my life and the folk involved but now I feel the need to share with some one my story, my tragedy, my triumphs, my rage, my revenge, my healing, deliverance, change of mind, and a heart of/for God.  Just as He is showing me with asking, believing and receiving, just as He showed me with knocking and the door being opened already, He will show me the enigma of Him and in the process reveal me. I’m looking to be wowed again…. Stay tuned for there’s more to see, through the technical difficulties. I might have to take a break, but yall know I’ll be back next day, cuz God’s love is unbreakable…..

Are you seeking, asking, knocking????

Hope you believe enough to MAKE it happen -)


Much Love,

Tracy B





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